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parenting and partying!

Shoot Glass (Standard): (Photo credit: Wikipedia) I am a very happy parent of two kiddos. They are amazing and I would not change them for the world. But you know what – having kids doesn’t half play...

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Breastfeeding – The Uncomfortable Truth

Gauloises (Photo credit: Wikipedia) Now, you know when you put together a piece of furniture from IKEA. You have the instructions and everything but the bugger just .. won’t … buggering…. bloody well …...

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Mexican Sleep Thief

Various colors of the capsicum fruit (i.e. evil death fruit) (sweet peppers) (Photo credit: Wikipedia) My blog posts are normally a little bit mental. But just to give you a little warning. Today could...

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Net a Portly

Wow! Can I get a new one? I am a reasonably normal sized person. Children don’t run away in fear if they spot me in the street and I can fit through doorways fine. A handy stomach bug a week or so...

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Pain, Trains and Automobiles

Feral pigeon (Columba livia). (Photo credit: Wikipedia) The other day I laughed at a joke that I overheard someone telling to their friend. It wasn’t massively funny but I snorted. The problem here was...

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Romancing Austen

Jane Austen, (purveyor of filth) Watercolour and pencil portrait by her sister Cassandra, 1810 (Photo credit: Wikipedia) In celebration of 200 years of Pride and Prejudice – I thought I’d mark it with...

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Putters and Leavers

DC – appalling human being but fellow baby leaver. Also looks a lot like a bum cheek with two raisins for eyes. David Cameron’s picture on the 10 Downing Street website (Photo credit: Wikipedia) Jon...

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Sausage Wars and Cheesy Stuffed Artery Dippers

Pizza Hut Hot Dog stuffed crust pizza (Photo credit: ivanpope) I have to apologise muchly to anyone who reads my ramblings occasionally. All has been quiet on the blunderbuss front lately and I’m very...

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Entering Stage Left

It had to be done at some point. Any parenting blog worth its low salt toddler meal will have to talk about it. The first feeling of a planned pregnancy (we’ll approach unplanned another time) when you...

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How to Look Good Knackered

A true fact – between the ages of 16 and 3 years and four months ago I don’t think there was one day that I left the house without mascara. I’m not a particularly high maintenance woman. I am far too...

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Evil in Pet’s Clothing..

I’m allergic to cats. Quite badly allergic to cats. So obviously they fucking love me.  After  years of scientific study I have come to the conclusion that cats can read minds, affect the space time...

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Slip into something more comfortable

This morning I looked in my cupboard and came to the distressing realisation that I now own more pyjamas than jeans. This is one of the many creeping changes into my life that I didn’t realise was...

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Feminist Guilt (or how to be a nice bitch)

I am a lady (albeit in the loosest sense of the word) and generally I’m glad of the fact. Yes there are many downsides – childbirth, periods, constant ongoing battle to moderate body hair but at least...

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Travelling with kids – looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue

First things first – some apologies are in order. My already sporadic blogging has been even slower lately because I have been on holiday. Or to use its other post baby name – going somewhere else to...

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Double Bloody Gs

I am in supermarket checkout queue. With children. (not right now obviously, I am painting you a picture of the other day). I suddenly see the 3 year old appears to be fascinated by the checkout lady....

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Who’s the Daddy?

Being a dad to a tiny baby is a thankless task. Everyone will ignore you. Visitors and family will only focus on the baby. Health professionals will only care about your wife and baby. Your baby will...

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Cooking on Gas

Bless me reader for I have sinned; it has been two months since my last blog. I am fairly certain that this kind of behaviour can have you excommunicated from the mumsnet blog network (there are...

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Chanelling Ripley – or – How to Get Rid of a Mouse When You Have Kids

As anyone who has read my cats (they are just waiting for their owners to die so they can eat their kidneys) blog will know – I am not quite at one with nature. So the (v amusing) yelp of fear that...

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Political Shamblings – Clegg v Paxman

It’s happened – they smell a weakness. It all started when the beard came in for me. Maybe the (curiously sticking out in every direction but down) fluff covers up the full strength of the sneering...

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Mind The Gap

People always say that mothers forget about the birth otherwise they would never have another child. This is a lie. Every single detail of both of my births are seared on my brain and now yours too if...

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