parenting and partying!
Shoot Glass (Standard): (Photo credit: Wikipedia) I am a very happy parent of two kiddos. They are amazing and I would not change them for the world. But you know what – having kids doesn’t half play...
View ArticleBreastfeeding – The Uncomfortable Truth
Gauloises (Photo credit: Wikipedia) Now, you know when you put together a piece of furniture from IKEA. You have the instructions and everything but the bugger just .. won’t … buggering…. bloody well …...
View ArticleMexican Sleep Thief
Various colors of the capsicum fruit (i.e. evil death fruit) (sweet peppers) (Photo credit: Wikipedia) My blog posts are normally a little bit mental. But just to give you a little warning. Today could...
View ArticleNet a Portly
Wow! Can I get a new one? I am a reasonably normal sized person. Children don’t run away in fear if they spot me in the street and I can fit through doorways fine. A handy stomach bug a week or so...
View ArticlePain, Trains and Automobiles
Feral pigeon (Columba livia). (Photo credit: Wikipedia) The other day I laughed at a joke that I overheard someone telling to their friend. It wasn’t massively funny but I snorted. The problem here was...
View ArticleRomancing Austen
Jane Austen, (purveyor of filth) Watercolour and pencil portrait by her sister Cassandra, 1810 (Photo credit: Wikipedia) In celebration of 200 years of Pride and Prejudice – I thought I’d mark it with...
View ArticlePutters and Leavers
DC – appalling human being but fellow baby leaver. Also looks a lot like a bum cheek with two raisins for eyes. David Cameron’s picture on the 10 Downing Street website (Photo credit: Wikipedia) Jon...
View ArticleSausage Wars and Cheesy Stuffed Artery Dippers
Pizza Hut Hot Dog stuffed crust pizza (Photo credit: ivanpope) I have to apologise muchly to anyone who reads my ramblings occasionally. All has been quiet on the blunderbuss front lately and I’m very...
View ArticleEntering Stage Left
It had to be done at some point. Any parenting blog worth its low salt toddler meal will have to talk about it. The first feeling of a planned pregnancy (we’ll approach unplanned another time) when you...
View ArticleHow to Look Good Knackered
A true fact – between the ages of 16 and 3 years and four months ago I don’t think there was one day that I left the house without mascara. I’m not a particularly high maintenance woman. I am far too...
View ArticleEvil in Pet’s Clothing..
I’m allergic to cats. Quite badly allergic to cats. So obviously they fucking love me. After years of scientific study I have come to the conclusion that cats can read minds, affect the space time...
View ArticleSlip into something more comfortable
This morning I looked in my cupboard and came to the distressing realisation that I now own more pyjamas than jeans. This is one of the many creeping changes into my life that I didn’t realise was...
View ArticleFeminist Guilt (or how to be a nice bitch)
I am a lady (albeit in the loosest sense of the word) and generally I’m glad of the fact. Yes there are many downsides – childbirth, periods, constant ongoing battle to moderate body hair but at least...
View ArticleTravelling with kids – looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue
First things first – some apologies are in order. My already sporadic blogging has been even slower lately because I have been on holiday. Or to use its other post baby name – going somewhere else to...
View ArticleDouble Bloody Gs
I am in supermarket checkout queue. With children. (not right now obviously, I am painting you a picture of the other day). I suddenly see the 3 year old appears to be fascinated by the checkout lady....
View ArticleWho’s the Daddy?
Being a dad to a tiny baby is a thankless task. Everyone will ignore you. Visitors and family will only focus on the baby. Health professionals will only care about your wife and baby. Your baby will...
View ArticleCooking on Gas
Bless me reader for I have sinned; it has been two months since my last blog. I am fairly certain that this kind of behaviour can have you excommunicated from the mumsnet blog network (there are...
View ArticleChanelling Ripley – or – How to Get Rid of a Mouse When You Have Kids
As anyone who has read my cats (they are just waiting for their owners to die so they can eat their kidneys) blog will know – I am not quite at one with nature. So the (v amusing) yelp of fear that...
View ArticlePolitical Shamblings – Clegg v Paxman
It’s happened – they smell a weakness. It all started when the beard came in for me. Maybe the (curiously sticking out in every direction but down) fluff covers up the full strength of the sneering...
View ArticleMind The Gap
People always say that mothers forget about the birth otherwise they would never have another child. This is a lie. Every single detail of both of my births are seared on my brain and now yours too if...
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